September 2007: Since we're starting from the beginning, I might as well start with the letter A. I think I was cursed by an armadillo. Yes, a desert rodent with a "leathery armored shell" (thank you wikipedia, I almost typed exoskeleton). Sam and I were driving through New Mexico when I rolled my window down and threw caution to the wind. Well, I actually threw my birth control out the window. Same-diff, right? We'd talked about when we wanted to start our family many times and as I looked at the guy sitting next to me belting Journey anthems, it hit me. I didn't want to wait to start our family- I wanted to have a mini-Sam in 9.5 months. Since he looked at me like I was pulling his leg, so I proved it by saying adios to those little pink pills through the rear-view mirror. I'm sure some poor defenseless Armadillo rambled by, thought it was candy and is now sterile as a result.July 2008: 10 months of trying and no luck. No big deal though, right? A lot of healthy couples take at least a year to get pregnant. I'm having really sharp pains though and I'm starting to look up symptoms online and end up freaking myself out- convinced I have some rare disease that's eating me from the inside out! After calling a million OB's, one nurse takes pity on my because I'm bawling on the phone since no one else can see me that day. Bless her heart, she gets me in the next hour. After a snappy little ultrasound, it appears everything's "perfectly normal".
November 2008: The good Doc gives me some clomid- says it's a good place to start. I'm thinking, "Sweet! I'll be poppin' out twins in no time"!
December 2008: While vacationing in California I'm laying in pain on the guest bed, yelling out for my mom. It feels like I'm being stabbing me from the inside. I get an ultrasound, looks like the Clomid caused "hyper-stimulation" and a ruptured cyst. Perfect. Besides the physical pain, Sam wanted to take a sabatical since I turned into a phsycho-emotional-freak-show! First round of Clomid is a complete disaster! Doctor tells me to half my dosage for the next couple of months.
April 2009: Sam gets testing. Some issues with the swimmers ;) but nothing that wouldn't keep us from getting pregnant "eventually".
June 2009: Family doctor does a bunch of tests and says I'm normal. Well, at least my hormones are.
July 2009: Our first appointment with a fertility specialist- we just want answers! Tell us what's wrong so we can fix it! Apparently with all factors considered, It appears we're on the lower side of average-mediocre-ish fertility. Awesome. We're told we can try up to 4 IUI's or save up for IVF. Of course we go for 4 IUI's. At $350 a pop it's a whole heck of a lot cheaper than IVF!
January 2010: First IUI I got a positive pregnancy test! I screamed and almost peed my pants! I decided I better take another home pregnancy test just to be sure. It was negative :( I call my specialist and they have me get blood-work done. Progesterone levels were a 6. Anything above 5 usually means your in your first week but in my case they just said it was "just one of those darn false positives"! Thanks for getting my hopes up, Clearblue!
May 2010: 4th and last IUI was a failure. So much for me telling my kid someday that they were brought into this world by Sam, me and a nurse named Jenny... or was it Janice?
Summer 2010: Taking a break from fertility, secretly hoping for one of those "We just stopped stressing out and it worked!" stories.
Fall 2010: Renewed my resolve that nature can take care of everything- I start researching and trying herbs, oils, smoothies, voodoo witchcraft (toooooooootally kidding), you name it! Sam and I decide that if nothing happens by January we'll start filing adoption papers (I'm adopted, it's great!).
December 2010: My new friend at work tells me about their miracle family- he recommends their fertility specialist- basically the last one in Utah I haven't worked with! I decide one more appointment can't hurt anything (besides my sanity, but I think I lost that a while ago).
January 2011: Meet Dr. Richards and Dr. Marrs and I'm flooded with new hope, not to mention I feel like this Doctor (our 4th specialist) actually cares. I go home and tell Sam all about it (he's sick of fertility consults at this point- bless his heart!). The light turns on for the both of us. We feel like for the first time, IVF is a real option. We're get excited about the wonderful care and expertise these Doctors can bring us- the blessing we've been waiting over 3 years for!
Currently 2011: Saving and pinching every penny and praying for a miracle in the meantime. However, I still drink a teaspoon of magic potion every morning mixed with a half cup of warm water just for good measure and to ward of curses from vengeful armadillos. Hey, if anything I still haven't had a cold or flu ALL season!
armadillo image credit: janbrett.com
You have been through so much already! I totally want to support, so here I go to look at the goods :). Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you Dev! This is such a wonderful idea to raise money! You and Sam deserve every happiness!
ReplyDeleteI went through the same thing....ruptured cyst and all! 2 rounds of IVF later, we had our beautiful little girl. With each failure, I became more and more determined. Don't give up! One day you WILL be able to meet this little one you have been working so hard for! Much love and prayers!
ReplyDeletehey Devanie!
ReplyDeleteI just got done reading your story! and just wanted to let you know that iam all "fingers crossed " for you and Sam. my husband and I are also in the process of seeing Dr.Richards and Dr.Marrs for IVF . I truly believe that they create miracles!
We too have done all including clomid, IUI's, meds and were getting ready for IVF when life happened. We TTC for 7 years with all medical help except the dish experience and we were blessed with our Sydney. We have 4 beautiful kids through adoption so our hearts are full. There is no explanation for why we were blessed with Sydney except of course the divine one :) feel free to check us out www.1000wordsofworth.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThank you guys- you're all so sweet to give your love and support and to share your stories with me too!
ReplyDeleteI came across your story on another blog, so I apologize if this is totally weird since you don't know me! As someone who also struggles with infertility, I know how obnoxious unsolicited advice can be, but I feel strongly enough about this that I'll break my own rule and share it. I HIGHLY recommend the Creighton Model / NaPro Technology system. http://www.naprotechnology.com/ I've had the opportunity to meet the founder and know several practitioners, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be in the care of people who not only want to see us become parents, but truly care for us as a married couple. Where IVF often just tries to surpass the problem, NaPro can determine what the problem is, typically correct it, and become an ongoing monitor of your health after pregnancy. They've been able to help people when IVF cannot, and at a fraction of the cost.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family will be in my prayers, and on a side note, your items are just darling!